"The Tale of the Unlucky Fisherwoman" (based on a true story)

Once upon a time there was a woman with four children. Her children had never caught a fish before and the woman had promised when they went to visit Grandpa and Grandma at their lake house in Missouri, they would get that chance because Grandpa had a pontoon and we were going to make a point to catch a fish.

So the woman and her four children set out on a Thursday afternoon to make the long drive. They brought enough supplies for four days of fun in the sun and their fishing poles that they would need for that big catch they were going to have. After arriving and a good nights sleep they were going to set out on the boat with Grandpa that Friday morning.

Friday came and they got up early and eagerly went to the boat, hungry to catch something that with luck they could cook up for dinner! All day they tried and tried with four different lines going and moving from spot to spot across the lake. At the end of the day they went back to the house without even so much as  a bite on their lines.

Saturday came and they decided to sleep in a bit because Friday had been cold and rainy and they were exhausted. But they set out around noon to try their hand again. Once again with 4 different lines in the water at all times and working hard to catch their dinner. They decided to try a spot where the water had recently been a few feet higher and there was a lot of debri from the run off. Thinking that the fish might be hiding there, they decided to try after a small picnic on the boat. After eating they got their poles all ready and begin casting out to find that one fish that would satisfy their desires. The woman innocently sat at the front of the boat watching her two younger boys cast out their lines. One second was so peaceful and the next thing she knew her 5 year old threw his line back before casting it out and caught his barbed hook into his mom's bottom lip!!! The woman screamed for him to stop mid cast and grabbed the line, but the hook was already set. The woman called for her dad to help as blood starting gushing out everwhere. The dad cut the line and initally thought to push the hook on through the lip to cut off the barb before sliding it back out, but the hook was not through the inside part of her mouth, but lodged in the tissue on her chin just under the skin. Poor 5 year old boy was crying uncontrollably because he was worried about his mom that he just hooked. But the woman couldn't comfort him because she was occupied with the pain and panic of her face! Then to make matters worse, her 7 year old burst into tears cause he was scared for his mom and is a sensitive boy. To make matters worse, we were 7 miles by boat away from our dock where the cars were parked.

So after a quick contemplation that the woman's dad didn't think he could or should try and get the hook out, they put ice on it and started a rushed trek back across the lake making one stop at another marina where the game and fish warden had just docked his boat. The warden informed them that the EMT on site wouldn't be able to remove the hook, she'd have to go to the Urgent care or ER in a town 20 miles away. So they continued on their trek back to the dock. Once docked, they rushed to get off the boat. Grandma and Aunt taking the kids back to the house while the woman and her dad rushed to the town to get help. After a pit stop at the urgent care (for cheaper prices) they were informed that they were not equipped to remove it and she'd have to go the ER. After a $150 copay, the really nice ER Dr. and very good at removing hooks numbed up her mouth and removed it for her. A fat and bruised lip later, the woman survived the ordeal. The kids were happy that their mom was fine and the 5 year old son felt terrible for hooking his mom.

But this ordeal was not going to stop her and her kids from trying for another fish the next day. The winds were horrible on Sunday, but they found a cove where the wind was kept at bay. After trying for a long while without avail, they decided to grab lunch at a restaurant on the lake. The winds were SOOO bad that after lunch they decided they needed to dock the boat and fish off the dock. Again after trying, they had to walk away without another bite. What horrible luck this family was having! They wanted the kids to catch a  fish so bad, but they were leaving on Monday around lunch time. So after walking away on Sunday dragging their feet and their hearts heavy, they decided that they would get up early on Monday and spend an hour or two on the lake to cast out their lines a few more times. So that's what they did, and once again they came back to the dock empty handed. Hearts heavy and disappointment high, as they arrived at the dock they witnessed in 30 minutes time a little Asian family catch 7 fish off the dock. The woman and her kids tried off the dock too, but again with nothing.

After this fishing folly, they decided that they were as unlucky as they come. She decided to nick name her dad's boat something like the Lady Unlucky, or as the boat is a Bass Buggy write a No in front of the name to say No Bass Buggy. The name is not set in stone, but it will need to be something along those lines cause as legend has it, her and her kids are not the only ones that haven't caught fish off this boat.

So the woman and her children walked away thinking of new boat nick names, heavy hearted, and the woman with a bruised fat lip and a couple more holes than she started with. On the other hand, we can now call the woman Captain Hook! Happy fishing. The lesson of the day...look behind you before you cast your line. From experience, it hurts.